12 books in 12 months - 2022

👩🏽 January - Invisible Women

I bought Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men during my summer internship in 2019. It was recommended by my friend who basically told me “this book will change your life”. My biggest takeaway from this read is that data bias exists everywhere (even when you least expect it): archaeology, urban planning, design, healthcare, politics, and disaster relief. Here’s an example of one of the many gender data gaps that really surprised me from this read:

1. Researchers developed a mathematical model proving that the number of sanitation facilities & time spent to find a bathroom is linked to the risk of sexual assault. When local governments in South Africa built more toilets, they actually saved money (medical, court, prison expenses) by decreasing the time for women to find toilets, which decreased the number of sexual assaults.

While I learned a lot from this book, I wish the takeaways were more actionable. It wasn’t clear to me how I can reduce these existing biases (especially in systems like archaeology/urban planning). With that said, the book has helped me build more of a “questioning” mindset where I’ve found myself more curious about how systems and products are designed.

⚖️ February / March - Just Mercy

I couldn’t finish Just Mercy in 1 month, but I am hoping I can make up for it by reading 2 books in a month later in the year! This book made me feel sad, inspired, and hopeful. I felt sad reading the personal stories of prisoners and their tragic childhoods and suffering in prison. It was shocking to hear about “lifers” (convicted to life imprisonment) for children as young as 13-years old or people clearly struggling with tragic childhoods or PTSD.

I felt inspired knowing that despite the injustices and sufferings in this world there are people like Bryan Stevenson that are enacting real change and reform in a system that is so broken. At many points in the book, I was in awe at the author for dedicating his life work (even after graduating from Harvard Law School) to work for and start his own nonprofit organization and help provide affordable legal assistance to the most desperate. He is truly working for a cause much bigger than himself. I was also amazed by his persistence and mental stamina - working with convicted felons with extreme backgrounds, establishing relationships with people who might die, learning about the injustices and unfairness in the legal system. I am easily overwhelmed when I hear about systemic issues that I feel I have no control over. I still don’t know how Bryan Stevenson is able to push through it without feeling burned out, heartbroken, angry, and helpless. Towards the end of the book, Bryan Stevenson does share a breaking point where he reflects on brokenness. He shares “I do what I do because I’m broken... being close to suffering, death, executions, and cruel punishments didn’t just illuminate the brokenness of others; it also exposed my own brokenness. You can’t effectively fight power, poverty, inequality, illness, oppression, or injustice and not be broken by it”. I love how Stevenson described embracing brokenness and using it as a way to connect with others - “there is no wholeness outside our reciprocal humanity”. It made me realize that even though everyone has different degrees of brokenness we can always find ways to connect and share compassion.

My biggest takeaway from this read is how Stevenson connects compassion, mercy, and identity: “Each of us is more than the worst thing we’ve ever done”. I re-read this quote many times and I found this difficult to rationalize in a world where social media and headlines define people by a “single story”. Reading Just Mercy reminded me that each person contains multitudes and 1 act does not define a person.

I felt hopeful knowing that the Equal Justice Initiative (EJI) exists and is growing its staff, programs, and resources. Hearing about the success of Walter McMillan’s case and several other landmark cases in the Supreme Court made me feel like I was winning these cases with Stevenson himself. To name a few:

1. In 2019, he won a ruling protecting condemned prisoners who suffer from dementia
2. In 2012, he won a ruling banning mandatory life-imprisonment-without-parole sentences for all children 17 or younger
3. He’s won reversals, relief, or release from prison for over 135 wrongly condemned prisoners on death row

Towards the end of the book, Stevenson emphasized the concept of “stone catchers”. I think this is a biblical reference but I appreciated the poeticism of this - “I decided that I was supposed to be here to catch some of the stones people cast at each other”

💬 March - Chatter

On a trip to Portland in February, I visited Powell’s Books (the largest bookstore in the world). I bought the book, Chatter by Ethan Kross. I was struck by the tag line on the book’s cover: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and how to Harness It. It reminded me of the meditation camps I had attended as a kid where I learned - “Your thoughts don’t control you, you control your thoughts”.

The book shared practical strategies on how to recognize and de-escalate chatter: the cyclical negative thoughts and emotions that turn our singular capacity for introspection into a curse rather than a blessing. The author shared a surprising statistic about mental chatter: About 1/3 to 1/2 of our waking life is spent thinking about past events, imagined scenarios, and internal musings which is called our “default state”.

Since reading this statistic, I’ve been noticing how common my mind wanders while doing daily activities like walking, cooking, eating, etc. I appreciated that the author not only shared research studies but also practical strategies we can use to manage chatter. Here were my key learnings:

1. When you’re working through a difficult experience, use your name and the second-person “you” to refer to yourself.
2. Imagine what you would say to a friend experiencing the same problem as you. Think about the advice you’d give that person and apply it to yourself.
3. Think about your current experience and how it compares with other adverse events and how it fits into broader scheme of life, and how people you admire would respond to this situation.
4. Chatter is triggered when we interpret a situation as a threat: something we can’t manage. Reinterpret the situation as a challenge that you can handle and remind yourself of how you’ve succeeded in similar situations in the past. Ask yourself: What is required of me and do I have the personal resources to cope with what’s required?
5. Remind yourself that you are not alone in your experience - use the word “you” to refer to people in general when you think and talk about negative experiences
6. Engage in mental time travel by thinking about how you’ll feel a month, a year, or even longer from now. Reading this chapter reminded me of the adage “This too shall pass”
7. When thinking about a negative experience, visualize the event in your mind from the perspective of a fly on the wall.
8. Journal about your deepest thoughts and feelings surrounding your negative experience for 15 to 20 minutes.
9. Clutch a lucky charm or embrace a superstition to relieve chatter to harness the brain’s power of expectation.
10. Perform a ritual - fixed sequence of behaviors that is infused with meaning - this provides you with a sense of order and control.
11. Talk about the negative experience with people who can validate the experience AND help you reframe it and brainstorm next steps.

🗣️ April - Good Talk

I read Good Talk by Mira Jacob which was a comic book about American identity. This book was recommended to me by a friend I met at work who is writing her own book! We often talk about grappling with Indian and American identities and she found this book extremely relatable. I really enjoyed reading Good Talk partly because this was the first time I finished a graphic memoir. I often found myself reading and re-reading certain pages to better understand the content and illustrations. The book focused on Mira’s relationship with her 6-year old, half-Jewish, half-Indian son and focuses on many of his natural questions about his identity: Why he looks so different from his dad? Does he look threatening? It definitely reminded me of growing up in Austin where I often asked the same questions to myself. I’m grateful we now have books like this which helps kids and young adults navigate different identities.

🪜 May - Broken Ladder

In May, I read The Broken Ladder: How inequality Affects the Way We Think, Live, and Die by Keith Payne. I discovered this book from one of President Obama’s yearly book recommendation lists. This book (at times) felt like I was reading an economics textbook, but there were some concepts that really struck me:

1. Humans have an innate sense of fairness and an innate sense of status. We are born caring about equality. There was a discovery that capuchin monkeys are averse to receiving unequal outcomes suggesting that these tendencies are evolved rather than learned. Children as young as three years old show similar reactions to capuchins.
2. Feeling poor matters, not just being poor. When you feel poor, you are more likely to feel depressed, anxious, and make bad decisions.
3. Inequality is defined as where we stand compared to others.
4. Orshansky Index: This was developed by Mollie Orshansky (to her own surprise) and defines poverty by taking the second least expensive meal plan and multiplying its cost by three. Incomes that fell below that number are considered below the poverty line.
5. We tend to think that poorer countries have more health and social problems. Indexing on factors like GDP of a country does not necessarily lead to a correlation. It is highly unequal countries that tend to have more social and health problems.
6. Live fast, die young: From an evolutionary perspective, there are only two ways to expend resources: survival and reproduction. Every organism faces a tradeoff when it comes to how to invest energy: animals can devote to keeping ourselves alive or allocate energy to reproduction. When times are hard, future is uncertain, and enemies are lurking, animals may not live long enough to have children later. Under these conditions, it pays to reproduce as early as possible (ex. house flies). This strategy is known as “live fast, die young”. When times are prosperous and future is certain, it is a sign animals will live a long and healthy life, so they take time to reproduce known as “slow strategy” This concept not only applies to humans but also animals. Studies have been conducted on insects like butterflies and flies that tend to reproduce earlier when there are more predators or stressful environmental conditions.

😢 June - Crying in H Mart

In June, my college roommates visited me in Seattle. On the last day of their trip, we visited one of my favorite book stores: Elliot Bay Book Company. In the PNW author section, I saw the cover for Crying in H Mart. I had heard great things about this book from numerous friends (including one of my roommates). After purchasing the book, I was surprised to find out Michelle Zauner is not only the author of this book, but also the lead singer of the band Japanese Breakfast.

From the moment I started reading this book I was hooked. I loved the way Zauner wrote this book. It felt like reading a poem. I could directly relate to the pain of hearing the news of a loved one’s cancer diagnosis, grappling with Asian and American identities, feeling a strong cultural connection and relationship with Asian food, fearing that your Asian identity will fade away once your parents are gone. The book was really sad and I cried a number of times - feeling a sense of emptiness and also anger at how unfair life can be. Throughout the book, Zauner emphasized a common phrase her mother would say “save 10% for yourself” which to me means allocating some of your time / energy / thoughts / ideas for you. I’ve been thinking a lot about the different “roles” I have in life (daughter, employee, friend). I allocate some energy and piece of identity to these roles. I love the concept of saving a portion of yourself for you.

As a foodie, I loved reading how Zauner describes the meals she eats with her mom. It reminded of the power of food in connecting people and creating a cultural identity. The relationship Zauner has with her mom reminded me of my relationship with my Dad. I was reminded of special meals I’ve shared with my Dad such as Saturday morning bread masala, sardines curry with fresh basmati rice, spicy shrimps, Cilantro’s kimchi rice after a stressful week in high school. This has definitely been one of the best books I’ve read and is probably my favorite book of 2022 (so far).

📝 July - My Life in Full

This month I read My Life in Full: Work, Family, and our Future by Indra Nooyi. My mom recommended reading this book, describing it as inspiring! Early in the book, I was struck by Nooyi’s stories about her thatha (grandfather) and father. They had such a strong impact on her upbringing in Madras and had a vested interest in her education. It made me realize the importance of having strong educational advocates early in your life.

I was amazed by Indra Nooyi’s innate drive and motivation to excel in academics. Even after she received a masters in India, she pushed herself to apply for a second masters program half way across the world at Yale! I remember how difficult it was for me to move from Austin to Seattle - I can’t imagine how lonely she might’ve felt the first few days in America. Early in the book, she states “… many immigrants’ American dream begins with fear, awe, and loneliness”.The American dream is often perceived as this happy and rewarding journey. I appreciated how honest Nooyi was about her early days in America.

Nooyi often mentioned feeling like an outsider in America - “i felt like a guest in this country, and I wanted to be viewed as an upright person, a contributor, and not a liability”. I think many immigrants feel like they have to prove themselves in this country, to work twice as hard to repay the debt of being granted a life in this country - it makes me think about how we perceive our own “Americaness” when we are citizens by birth vs. naturalization.

The book made me realize the difficulties and sacrifices involved by being a CEO of a Fortune 500 company. Nooyi was very honest about her stressful nights at work, describing a CEO’s job = to 3 full time jobs. She often shared how she feels mixed emotions about the past - a sense of guilt that she didn’t spend enough time at home with her kids. In her goodbye letter to Pepsico employees she writes: “… think hard about time. We have so little of it on this earth. Make the most of your days and make the space for the loved ones who matter most… I’ve been blessed with an amazing career, but if I’m being honest, there have been moments I wish I’d spend more time with my children and family”

It was very interesting learning about her strategy “Performance with Purpose” at Pepsico and how she was able to grow the business while also making the company environmentally sustainable. Rather than purely thinking about profits, she thought about Pepsico’s impact on the environment, on the health of Pepsico consumers, and on the impact on Pepisco employees and their families.

In closing, here were a few quotes I found interesting from the book:

1. By the Sufi mystic Rumi: Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul, there is no such thing as separation”
2. “… on days that I was mad that people, both inside and outside the company, didn’t quite get what I was trying to do. I’d go into the little bathroom… look at myself in the mirror, and just let it all out. And when the moment had passed, I’d wipe my tears, reapply makeup, and walk back out into the fray, ready again to be “it”” I often feel guilty about crying so reading this made me realize it’s human to cry (even successful CEOs do it)
3. “Sometimes if you learn to follow, you will be a better leader” Reading this reminded me that while leaders are perceived as trailblazers, they often start out by learning and following in the foot steps of mentors and advocates/teachers.

🛣️ July/August - Nomadland

In July, I watched the Oscar-winning film, Nomadland. I enjoyed the cinematography which featured beautiful clips of vast American landscapes. I also appreciated how the film featured so many senior actors. I was moved by the main characters innate drive to be independent and self-sufficient. When I found out the movie was based on a book, I needed to read it (I finished the book in August).

The book featured many “workampers” or nomads that travel across the US in vans and work temporary jobs. Like the movie, it featured real American nomads who wanted to be self-sufficient in times of financial crisis. I’m amazed these people, who often have no retirement savings with mounds of debt, continue persevering. For example, the book featured Bob Wells who was a debt addict struggling through a divorce. He decided to eliminate his single highest expense, housing, and replaced it with “wheel estate”. He felt liberated and accomplished when he could subsist on $500 or less a month. Bob shared these learnings on a website CheapRVLiving.com and created a community of vandwellers. I was reminded of the benefits of online communities and how they can create a shared sense of understanding and purpose.

Through the book, inequality in America was a recurring theme. Some quotes / notes related to this:

1. Among older women living alone, 1 in 6 are below the poverty line. Nearly twice as many elderly women are poor than male counterparts. Female recipients get on average $341 a month less than men for social security benefits because of lower total payroll tax contributions.
2. Many nomads personal savings were wiped due to bad investments or the recession. Each successive generation is now doing worse than the previous generations in terms of ability to retire. Nearly 9 million Americans 65 and older were still employed in 2016, up 60 percent a decade earlier. Economists expect those numbers - along with the percentage of seniors in the labor force - to keep rising.
3. “Wages and housing costs have diverged so dramatically that, for a growing number of Americans, the dream of a middle-class life has gone from difficult to impossible. As I write this, there are only a dozen counties and one metro area in America where a full-time minimum wage worker can afford a one-bedroom apartment at fair market rent. You’d have to make at least $16.35 an hour—more than twice the federal minimum wage—to rent such an apartment without spending more than the recommended 30 percent of income on housing.”

The book also shared some interesting history about the government’s role in retirement. After the New Deal, America had built a retirement-finance model as a “three legged stool” which was composed of social security, private pensions, and combined investments/savings. Since the 1980s, employers replaced defined benefit pensions that are funded by employers with 401k plans, which rely on employee contributions. These pills were part of a larger cultural drift in America away from shared responsibility toward individualism. And not to mention, 401ks are cheaper for companies than pension plans!

Overall, I enjoyed reading this book and learned a lot about the vandwelling community and the importance of retirement, personal savings, and self-sufficiency! Like the movie, I was amazed at some people’s intense drive for independence and self-sufficiency. Rather than relying on their kids for financial support or handouts from the government, these vandwellers were driven to live on their own terms and earn a living!

September - December

During the last 4 months of the year, my commitment to reading a book a month slowly dwindled. Maybe it was due to traveling or life circumstances, but I just couldn’t will myself to read books. My goal for 2022 was to read 12 books, so I’m planning to read 4 books in the month of December to reach my goal.

💐 December - sun and her flowers

I bought this book when I attended Rupi Kaur’s live poetry reading at UT. This is a really short book that I was able to finish in a few hours - overall I enjoyed reading poetry. It made me realize (1) i don’t know many people known for their poetry (2) i don’t read much poetry. I think I’d like to start reading more poetry or maybe try to write poems myself ?

I felt like the book focused too much on how others (past partners, family, etc) made her feel vs controlling / coping with her reactions to those experiences? There were some aspects of the book that were relatable such balancing eastern vs western cultures or how to cope with the fear of abandonment.

📈 December - Grit

I read this book in random bursts in September and December. Overall, I found the book to be insightful and motivating - at times it read like a textbook describing various experiments / clinical trials to measure the power of grit: passion and perseverance to reach long-term goals. I took the grit test in the airport in Mumbai, and found out I actually have a very low grit score of 2.5 ! I learned that we often train our brains to view talented people as geniuses born with innate abilities rather than admitting that they’ve persevered and persisted to become experts. The author shared that (1) it’s not glamorous to talk about repetitive practice and (2) if we accept someone as an “innate genius” it removes the responsibility and onus on us to work hard. In other words, we accept being lazy. I found this to be very relatable / true and something I’ve observed growing up.

(1) Duckworth mentioned a Japanese phrase “Fall seven, rise eight” which I’d never heard before. It basically means having the resolve to make tomorrow better. It’s something I’m hoping I can chant silently to myself when I’m working towards a long-term goal.

(2) Duckworth also talked about the journey of ‘finding your calling’ - something I often ask myself. This quote struck me: “A calling is not some fully formed thing that you find… it’s much more dynamic. Whatever you do - whether you’re a janitor or CEO - you can continually look at what you do and ask how it connects to other people, how it connects to a bigger picture, how it can be an expression of your deepest values”

🕊️ December - To Kill a Mockingbird

I read this book for a second time because I remember enjoying the book when I read it for the first time freshman year of high school. Overall, I enjoyed re-reading the book, but did not feel as moved as my first-read.

It was interesting to read a book about racism and injustice from the point of view of a child. I enjoyed how Atticus was able to break down really difficult topics and explain them in simple terms to his children.

Because the book is in the POV of Scout, I think Harper Lee was trying to question: Are racists born or raised? Often Scout and Jem questioned why their family was treated differently compared to the Cunninghams, Ewells, and Robinsons. Even within the white community, Jem/Scout recognized that there were various classes which made society treat these families differently. Jem/Scout didn’t believe their father was doing anything wrong by defending Tom Robinson, but were made to believe that when the town (society) were spreading rumors and mocking the family.

“… If there’s just one kind of folks, why can’t they get along with each other? If they’re all alike, why do they go out of their way to despise each other?” - Jem talking to Scout about the Cunninghams

Mockingbirds in the book represented pure-intentioned people. To me, this means someone who does good deeds, but does not expect anything in return. In this case, Tom Robinson and Boo Radley were mockingbirds. Tom helps the Ewells by completing random chores for free and Boo Radley saved Jem and Scout from potential murder.

Harper Lee did a great job of building up Atticus Finch’s character. Even during my second read, I found myself resonating with his views and life lessons as a lawyer, father, and member of the town. One of his life lessons that resonated with me was always to “put yourself in others shoes” to build empathy and better understand why people behave a certain way. It doesn’t mean someone is right, but helps us better understand humanity.

“…Jem, see if you can stand in Bob Ewell’s shoes a minute. I destroyed his last shred of credibility at that trial, if he had any to begin with. The man had to have some kind of comeback, his kind always does. So if spitting in my face and threatening me saved Mayella Ewell one extra beating, that’s something I’ll gladly take”

This book also taught me that even if the odds are low, you should try as best you can to improve an existing situation. This is what Atticus did when representing Tom Robinson - he knew he wouldn’t win but that didn’t stop him from defending Tom Robinson.

“…but in the secret courts of men’s hearts Atticus had no case. Tom was a dead man the minute Mayella Ewell opened her mouth and screamed”

🌳 December - Forest of Enchantments

I read this book during the last few days of 2022 and finished it on 12/31/22 🎉 I loved the concept of this book - Ramayana from Sita’s POV (Sitayan). Reading the book made me remember all the plays / discussions we had about the Ramayana in Chinmaya Mission which was always a very simplified good vs. evil version of the story and ended when Rama returns to Ayodhya. I never knew that Sita was subjected to humiliation and exile from Ram due to questions about her ‘purity’ after being abducted by Ravan.

The book put a spotlight on many women (not just Sita) who I never knew existed and were influential characters in the Ramayana. For example:

Ahalya (Gautam sage’s wife who turns to stone because her husband questions her purity), Urmilia (Sitas sister), Sarama (Ravan’s sister in law), Surpanakha (Ravan’s sister), and Mandodari (Ravan’s wife).

I learned from the book that most of main characters are incarnations of gods/goddesses reflecting the gods past karma. Sita is actually an incarnation of Laxmi and Ram is an incarnation of Vishnu. Even Ravan is said to be an incarnation of Shiva’s gatekeeper, Jaya. The book also summarized Ravan’s past - how he was an illegitimate child from a holy sage and his half brothers/sisters neglected him. It made me think: are monsters born or created?

Even though this book covers a mythological Hindu tale, it still managed to describe classism and prejudice between humans, animals, and Rakshasas. It was something I never really recognized and accepted when learning about the Ramayana as a kid - that maybe humans may have been prejudice to the rakshasas causing the start of the war?

While reading the book, I noticed Sita would often recognize injustices but remain silent due to her duty as a wife. She even mentioned if she had stood up for Surpanakha the war may have been prevented.

I resonated with Sita’s mother’s advice before she left for Ayodhya: “you can be your own worst enemy - or your best friend. it’s up to you. and also this: what you can’t change, you must endure” Endurance was a constant theme in the novel and meant taking the challenges thrown at us and dealing with them as intelligently as we knew until we grow stronger than them. Overall, I enjoyed reading this book and I already have books written by the author (Palace of Illusions) on my reading list.